Temporarily Out of Service

  Yes, it's me.  If you haven't noticed,  I have been temporarily out of service.  Why you ask?  I believe it's called a burn out.  About 4 weeks ago I started noticing my attitude toward things shifting.  I was over the workouts, over my diet, and many other things going on in my life.  Now some people would say I have too much on my plate at the moment.  I am in the middle of trying to buy a house, M has been gone three of the last four weeks, the thought of packing and moving makes me want to crawl in a corner and cry, and several other big things that I won't mention.  Most of these are really exciting and new adventures, but with that comes some stress.  The last thing I have been thinking about is counting calories and getting in an extra workout between visits with Coach Frank.  And remember that little number I have been trying to reach now for a few months?  Well, I still haven't made it yet.  I am 2 lbs. away and have been for weeks.  This might sound like I am making excuses and a little whiney, but I have a reason to be sharing this.  I am taking responsibility for my actions.  1st step right?  Admit there is a problem?  Well THERE IS A PROBLEM!!!!!  Now I just have to find my way back to the right path and get back on it.  It might be after the move.  It might be before.  I'm not going to make a promise to myself or anyone and give a date to when it will happen.  But I will promise it will happen.  Coach and I have discussed and somewhat made a plan as to how to get there again.  Soon enough I will be back at it giving 100% again.  So if you see me looking a little frazzled, now you know why.  I might need a little encouragement along the way.  My big goal is still there.  I am signed up for the Bridge Run December 3rd.  Whether I run, walk, or crawl over the finish line, you will see me there!

Thoughts and Wishes

    I hope all my Mommy friends had a wonderful Mother's Day!  As I thought about my Mom through the years yesterday, it made me appreciate and wish many things for her.  My Mom is a very strong, determined, fearless, loving woman.  In many ways, I have become my Mom and am very grateful for that.  She taught me that you can achieve just about anything you work hard for.
   Over the years, I have watched my Mom struggle with her weight.  You know, diet after diet, trying the newest thing.  Every once in a while she'd pull out the old Jane Fonda workout tape.  But as I thought about this, I think that's where she lost her battle time after time.  I think if she would have had a consistent exercise regimen, she would have succeeded. I also wish she would have instilled that in me.  It just wasn't a priority
   This led me to think about M.  I do not want to constantly be on a diet and stressed over how I feel.  It makes for a very stressful childhood.  I do not want to put her through that.  That's why I will complete this Quest.  Not just for me, but for M.  Not just to get healthy, but to be able to enjoy our time together without these other stresses that are involved in weight loss.

Injuries

   Injuries are no fun at all.  For the last two weeks, I have been nursing an injury to my right calf.  I don't know what happened, nor am I going to guess why it did.  All I know is that I have really missed my running.  I have still done my work outs, but with great care not to over do this leg.  Remember, I have a race in four weeks that I am trying to get ready for.  In the last few days, it has felt much better.  Frank got me on the treadmill Thursday to see where the leg was pain and strength wise.  Not running, but walking at an incline very fast.  It felt pretty good.  Hopefully I can get back to speed so I can run this great race.  The Savannah Mile.  The money raised helps local fallen Fire Fighters and Police families.  I really do not want to miss this.  I do not want to fail because of an injury.  Whether or not I am ready for this race, I will do my best to work hard to prepare for it while strengthening my injured leg.  And if any of you want to join me, it's one mile down Drayton St. the Saturday before Memorial Day.  Hope you can join me! I want to share a quote with you my cousin told me.
                
            Failure is just the temporary by-product of the success that lies ahead of you if you persevere.
 
  

Thankful

   While out on my run this morning, I started thinking about what this upcoming week means to me.  Not just because of Easter, but because of my Quest as well.   So, I kept coming back to the word thankful.  Why thankful?  I mean, this is about weight loss and exercise!  How does thankful come into it?  For the rest of the run, I had to think about how this was going to come together. 
   There are many things I am thankful for.  Family of course...M, Mom, Dad, Sister, Aunts, Uncles, and lots of Cousins.  Most of them live with-in 3 hours.  How great is that?  Then I moved on to my friends.  This group of people love me for who I am.  They have stuck with me this last year, encouraged me, wiped tears, MOVED me, given lots of advice, and are there every time I need them.  The encouragement is what I love the most.  It seems that when I am having a discouraging day with all this, I get a pick me up from more then one of them.  I'm sure I am going to get many grumbles in July when they have to help me move again, but they will show up with a smile!  That's the way they are.  My church is next on my list.  I love my church!  The support form my church family is wonderful.  I really don't know where I would be with out it.
   Finally, I come to the most important person in my life right now.  Coach Frank.  Thankful is not a good enough word to describe him.  He is an encourager, does not take no for an answer, motivator, a friend, understanding, and my biggest supporter.  I would not be where I am if it wasn't for him.  I know that I whine a lot when it comes to my work outs.  He doesn't listen, or tells me to get over it.  That is what I need.  If he didn't push me, I would have given up a long time ago.  Of course, I don't think he would let me!
    I think the reason thankful came to mind is because I am the worst at showing my thanks to people.  So, this is for every person who has supported me, loved me, encouraged me, and still is.  THANK YOU!  If you don't get a thank you from me, I am sorry.  I really am trying to work on that.  I want each of you to know that I love all of you and am very thankful!

Disappointments and Achievements

   I have had many disappointments in the last two years.  They range from very small to incredibly overwhelming.   One of my main disappointments is how I let my weight get to where it had gotten.  The other day during one of my work outs with Frank, this subject came up.  He asked why I got so angry when we discussed it.  Basically, I am mad at allowing it to happen.  I knew better!  He reminded me that what's in the past is done.  Now I need to put it behind me and move on.  Do what I need to do now to get back to a better weight.  I know I will have my set backs during this time.  For example, I have one week before my "reunion".  I really don't think I am going to hit that 10 lb. weight goal.  I have been stuck for over a week at the 8 lb. mark.  I will still try hard and watch every bite that enters my mouth.  If I don't, I don't.  I will be disappointed with myself, but I have tried my best. 
  There are many marked achievements I have had through this Quest though.  I love these!  Just the other day, I did 8 chin ups.  Who would have EVER imagined that!  Do you know that when I moved into my apartment 9 months ago, it was so hard to walk up and down the stairs?  Now, I run up and down them.  That is an achievement that I love!  If you don't know me very well, I am an instant gratification kind of girl.  Therefore, the reason I am a hair dresser.  Hair cut, color....instant gratification!  Weight loss is NOT instant.  There is no gratification right away.  Now that I am almost at the 40 lb. mark, I am seeing my achievements.  I am down 4 pant sizes and almost ready to move down another one.  Family, friends, and clients are really starting to notice.  And I feel so much better!  The one achievement I can't WAIT to hit is the day I go under 200 lbs.  Frank wants a picture of the scale when it reads 199.  Rest assured that I will post that achievement on here!  I want everyone to share that moment! 

Do Not Excuse Me!

    I can come up with some of THE best excuses for just about anything!  I give excuses to my clients why their hair won't do what they want it to.  I give M plenty of excuses on why things aren't fair in her life.  I give Frank an excuse almost every work out session on why I can't do certain exercises.  I tell myself the most excuses.  I can pretty much convince myself that what I eat is okay.  I blame it on being in a hurry or eating out.  Now I'm not saying that I eat bad all the time.  But it seems that it's much easier to "relax" when I just don't have the time.  Always after one of these episodes, I feel horrible and get pretty angry with what I have done.
   The worst excuses I give are on why I don't want to exercise.  I can't get away with it when I schedule time on my book to go to Frank.  But I know that these two days should not be the only time I get it in.  Remember, I was walk/ running the lake four times a week when I started on this Quest.  I haven't been to the lake since we were training for the 5K four weeks ago.  So, I am setting a goal for this week.  At least three times at the lake.  (Here comes one of my famous excuses...) I doubt I will run any of it because I have a knee that's acting up a bit, but I am going!
   What are your excuses for?  Are they for work or your children or exercise?  What goal can you make this week to stop some of those excuses?  If I give you an excuse on why I can't do something, please don't excuse me!

Self Discipline and Reaching a Goal

     These are two of the most important things I have had to learn to do.  Frank (AKA Coach) has several tips to help me succeed in  these areas.

                                                 3 Keys to Self-Discipline
                                              1.)  Challenge your excuses
                                       2.)  Remove rewards until the job is done
                                           3.)  Stay focused on the results
                                                               and
                                       You will not reach your goals unless....
                                        - You daily focus on desired results!
                                           - What results do you desire?
   
    I found out a few months ago that there is a 50th Anniversary for Wrestling at my High School mid April.  Why would I be going for a Wrestling Anniversary?  I'm glad you asked!  I was a Mat Maid for the wrestling team.  (go ahead and laugh at the name, I do)  We kept score at matches, fed the wrestlers, and yes, on occasion, had to clean a mat or two.  These wrestlers were like my brothers.  So when I found out about the "reunion" so to speak, I decided I would go.  I needed to set a weight loss goal before I went though!  These guys only knew me as that 100 lb. teenager don't forget. 
    Now if it were up to me, this last 50 lbs. would just fall off in these next few weeks.  We know that's not going to happen!  So I set a goal for another 10 lbs. at least.  I am down 6 of the ten and still have two weeks.  To achieve this, I have had to really focus on my desired results, and remove my rewards until my goal is met.  I am looking forward to seeing my "brothers" again. I have a lot of fear when it comes to the way I look now and how I will be excepted.  I know what I have achieved so far , but they don't.  They will see who I am now.  I am okay with that.  I know I need to keep my focus on the goals at hand to continue on my Quest.